Beginning

Did it. I updated my profile by taking out the last few lines. Why? Because they sounded defensive, or maybe even confrontational: something like "If what you want is glamour and pointy shoes, go elsewhere; I'm an Upper West Side shlep." Men don't like that chin-out sort of line. So out it goes.

Then I decided to broaden my search. A colleague my own age recently told me she met her current live-in boyfriend online. She lives near me in Manhattan, and he was living in one of those Jersey towns right across the river when they met. I have to admit I have not been open to searching outside Manhattan. This is not just Manhattan snobbiness and/or prejudice against Jersey or Queens; it also had to do with a fantasy of having a companion, preferably in my neighborhood but at least in easy commuting distance, to go to dinner or the movies with. But my colleague changed my mind about that -- if I'm going to do this, I have to cast the net more widely. After all, I'm not a twenty-something who is going to be flooded with choices. So I did: I changed the search to within 20 miles of where I live. And I will not just confine myself to men who have graduate training. This didn't work in the past anyway.

I sent out 18 emails to prospective men, far ( two hours away in NJ) and wide (not too much, hopefully). The only criteria I'm rigid about are: 1) they must not be repulsive looking, and 2) they must be to the left of "middle of the road" -- I've learned from hard experience that I just don't want to deal with the unattractive politics of someone I might be intimate with. Both of these disqualify them from sleeping with me.

So now we'll see what happens.