The Dreaded Second Date

Second dates are peculiar animals, very low on my list of fun things to cuddle up to. You like the man well enough to see him again, and presumably he feels the same: well and good. You'd think it would be like getting to the second level of the video game (a simile I'd better drop before I make a fool of myself, since I don't play video games): hooray, onward and upward! Instead, second dates are usually downers. If people are even a tiny bit interesting, you have built-in conversation for the first date, that is, the basic facts --- birthplace, schooling, marriage(s), child(ren), divorce/widowhood/trials-of-being-single, etc. You scout each other's political opinions (cautiously) and help each other frame a proto-story about your life history. Conversation rarely flags.

The second time around, you're in the no-man's-zone between the life story and an actual relationship. In a friendship or a romantic relation, you are always checking in with ongoing developments and (hopefully) problems -- I say problems because relationships work on the meat and drink of complaining and problem-solving and unexpected turns and twists. But if you're not hooked in to the plot, the new developments don't mean much, and you don't yet care. So second dates tend to have dreaded silences into which you must throw your metaphorical body at high energy. They're tiring and often tiresome. Also, there's the question of the kiss.

No one really kisses at the first date. There may be a flash-hug, or the kind of quick peck you'd give your great-aunt, but it would be rude to stick your tongue in someone's mouth when you can barely remember their name. By the second date, this is now up for grabs, and so awkwardness ensues. Will he or won't he go there? Do you or don't you want to? It can be difficult to tell, not only all through the date, but even five seconds before it might happen. Some would consider this part of the excitement of courtship. I consider it a pain in the ass. I like to know if I want to kiss someone.

All this is by way of leading up to my second meeting with Q, an event that was scheduled a week ago, and occurred last night. How did it go? I think I will take advantage of the storyteller's trick and leave you wondering till the next post. This is partly because I have a mean streak, and partly because I have to catch a bus out of town to visit my children for the weekend. There will be no blogging at my kid's house, you can be sure, so...tune into the same station, though not at the same time, and you shall see.